OOOff. We were planning on going to a conference this weekend.
And about 4 weeks ago we discovered we had a good shot at buying a house in one of the most expensive places in the nation under 250,000 to live.
And we decided I will be launching my own business in private consulting.
But that meant: skipping cons, aggressively looking for a higher paying job for my nesting partner, finding a way to launch a business on a shoestring budget and accepting the demands that come with that.
Not to mention hustling my side business and getting licences, sports games for our spawn which include travel and money, maintaining a vanilla social life, and we try to be home a few nights a week and maintain a routine which for many reasons is completely fucked most of the time( thank you other mommas cheering in the background).
So we say “YES” enthusiastically to upcoming events- we are excited!
We commit and the week comes and the youngest hasn’t slept through the night in a week, the middle one is asking for one on one time with three evening meetings this week and the oldest has barely spoken a word to either of us in 3 days.
That is when we have to decide if a weekend with grandparents or one of us being gone for 2-3 days is truly the best choice for our family and the offspring we dragged into existence.
And the answer most of the time is “No, it’s not.”
It’s a constant sacrifice to a major part of our lives.
The biggest obstacle is expense for us. We live in a rural area and have limited funds- we get creative with date nights and family nights to make them less expensive- but as kids get bigger so do their bills.
We can choose some pretty fun memories with the horde or we can do a con or weekend intensive- and I have yet to have an option for both.
I see other parents in the community - they each have their own unique way of juggling this.
Some of them just travel and aren’t active locally.
Some are heavily involved locally but only get out to cons every two to three years.
We try to do a little of both but it’s a lot of work.
My point: Be gentle of the individuals juggling family and lifestyle.
Trust their desire is there even if they can’t make it.
We want to be there.
And one day we will be there for every con, for every event, and all the munches.
We will come home to an empty house rather than bubbly smiling kids happy to see us.
And it will be bittersweet either way- so give us this time and a little understanding.